Comment

Comment by David Goodman on October 14, 2011 at 2:34pm

Subject: Guts or Balls

Medical distinction between Guts and Balls  We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them? There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking there is no difference in the outcome.

Comment by David Goodman on October 13, 2011 at 4:56pm

Good one, Dan.

TC Admin Comment by Karen Weddick on October 13, 2011 at 4:01pm

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and
is asked where he is going at this time of night.

> The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture
about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as
smoking and staying out late."

> The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving
that lecture at this time of night?"

> The man replies, "That would be my wife."

 

Comment by Dan Kuntz on October 13, 2011 at 7:30am

A bag piper goes to his gig in NYC, and before he goes in, decides to get a drink. He locks his car up because his pipes are in plain sight, and he's heard that bad things can happen to unattended autos. Sure enough, he comes back out of the bar, and someone had broken out his back window, and put two more sets of pipes in there.

TC Admin Comment by Karen Weddick on October 13, 2011 at 12:05am

Great one Michael, thank you for sharing; I'm ROTFL!

Comment by michael kelly on October 12, 2011 at 10:46pm

Three men; a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the  car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men  found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.

"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now  overcrowded, therefore St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people  entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or  cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll  come with me to Hell."

The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the  most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings,"

With a snap of his  finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and  concluded it was correct.

"Then, go to Hell!"

With another snap  of his finger, the philsopher disappeared.

The mathematician then asked,  "Give me the most complicated formula you can ever think of!"

With a  snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The  mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct.

"Then, go  to Hell!"

With another snap of his finger,  
  the mathematician  disappeared, too.

The idiot then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a  chair!"

The Devil brought forward a chair.

"Drill 7 holes on the  seat."

The Devil did just that. The idiot then sat on the chair and let  out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out  from?"

The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the  right."

"Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my asshole."  And the idiot went to Heaven...
Cheers!     

Comment by Lili Feldman on October 12, 2011 at 9:18pm

Why? What did you do Mick?

TC Admin Comment by Karen Weddick on October 12, 2011 at 8:14pm

LOL, this are all too funny; you all are on a roll!  Keep'em coming.

Comment by David Goodman on October 12, 2011 at 7:55pm

Give it time, you'll find a way.

Comment by michael kelly on October 12, 2011 at 6:54pm

does this mean Lili Iam not in trouble

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