Heart Transplants

Comment

Comment by Jill Schro 19 hours ago

You sound so frustrated, I am sorry for the stress, worry and fear that you are going through. I am waiting for a heart transplant, so I can't say that I know what you are going through. But if you husband is like me, he is scared stiff and worried every breath witll be his last and every gas pain is a heart attack. I worry so much about my husband too, I never wanted him to have to suffer through this long, horrible ordeal. I won't tell you anything rosy. Just I'm sorry for both of you.

Comment by Maxene (Mike's wife) 20 hours ago

At this point I'm not going to deal with it. It's his baby. They are still checking his insurance and test etc. He may not even be a candidate. I have my own life to live. I'm done.

Comment by Paul Anthony Worthington 21 hours ago

Maxene,

I would have responded earlier - but I'm in a completely different time-zone and have been laid up all day with a viral infection, sorry.

Eric is absolutely correct. I know in some ways exactly what your husband is going through, I too am in acute cardiac heart failure and I too find it incredibly hard to be open about. I don't talk to anyone about it, I feel my poor parents have suffered enough, besides they have already been through this once when I had my new heart originally. I find it best for them that they know as little as possible. It may sound rediculous but it is how I feel deep down inside.

If you are struggling to cope, and I suspect you are, you need to speak in confidence with the medical team who are looking after Mike. They will have dedicated people who can help and offer much needed support, God only know's I have needed it myself often enough over the years!

Another thing I will add here Maxene, I had my Heart Transplant 24 years ago, back then it meant a stay in Intensive Care for 4 weeks, 2 of which were spent in a sterile unit, cut off from all contact except the medical staff. I returned back to school approximately 7/8 weeks later (after intensive physio to build up my muscles again).

Yet, I spoke to a gentleman at my heart hospital last November who, only 2 weeks before, had had a double lung transplant - he was looking forward to being discharged within a few days time.

My point? The tools, equipment, techniques, treatment and medicines have come such a long way since 1986, the advancements are remarkable. However serious an operation such as a transplant is, you can be sured that Mike is in the VERY best of hands. He clearly has his own strategy of coping, I know I do too.

Comment by eric goberman 21 hours ago

(sorry it's a nit but NOT important to the issue)

Comment by eric goberman 21 hours ago

Hi Maxene, The problem is not with you - it's what page you happen to be on when you read a comment. I didn't see the page thing til today while reading the discussion. That's a nit (frustrating, but important to the issue at hand).

If you haven't noticed by now, men are weird when it comes to medical issues. Rule 1: Don't admit to anything being wrong
Rule 2: If there is anything wrong it must be minor and not urgent or important

You get the gist. Basic human nature is, men are fixers (if they can't fix it themselves with duct tape or oil - it's not broken) and they don't want to chat about it.. just fix it while women are nurturers and want to talk about it.

However, he is NOT blowing it off. He is thinking about it - a lot. He just doesn't know how to or want to talk about it. It's not personal it's his nature. He needs to talk with others that have been there / done that so he can grasp what you are going through. Some of us are willing to chat over the phone with him or get him on here or there are chat (typing) sites that we can use to our advantage to get you and him the information we have.

No two situations are the same (financial, insurance, family) but certainly you can and he can gain from our experiences.

I did most of what you are trying to do - not my wife. She helped me with things I couldn't do but I did most if not all of the paperwork and talked to the dr's etc.

It's his boy - he needs to get involved with it .. and quickly

Comment by Maxene (Mike's wife) 22 hours ago

Paula,
That's the thing I am NOT new to computers. Have been using them when they were the size of your house and worked in IT for years. It's not me, it's the site. I still do not see where it says page number. Anyway. I am taking my cue from him. I am going out of my way to help him and do the right thing while he is getting annoyed at me for even discussing it.

Comment by Steve Feldheim 1 day ago

Maxene, my wife had to run up to Syracuse to help a friend with a medical emergency. She'll be bcak on Thursday and will be happy to speak to you. I had a two year illness that was quite difficult for her, so she should be able to help. Also, did you try JT at TRIO. I'm pretty sure they have support groups for caregivers. I know the one on Lon Island does. Steve

Comment by Paula M. Rice 1 day ago

Maxine, if U go to "Heart" site & scroll to th bottom, you'll see , on the right bottom, "Page". Delete the # that's in there & put in 16. That's my page # today, no telling what it will be tomorrow. Or, be in the chat room at noon, your time (I'm in Colo.) & wait fo me to sign in. Then, simply type my name in the lowest bar, to the left of the names & I'll come on. To get into the chat room, simply click on the very bottom bar at the bottom of the page. Says Chat X# Online. Areyou as new to the computer as I am? That may be part of the problem. I'm always yelling "Help" to Michael or someone online. Unfortunately, it somtimes takes a bit of time to get an answer, simply becase this isn't like instant messaging. I was on the chat line for quite a while, becase you were listed as online, but, I didn't know which site you were in. Do U see the problem? The Cafe is huge. Praying U see this! hugs & Blessings, Paula

Comment by Maxene (Mike's wife) 1 day ago

Over and out. Goodnight

Comment by Maxene (Mike's wife) 1 day ago

What is page 16,. See thats the problem I have no idea what you mean. I'm sick of this

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